Things that might help when there is cancer in the familyThings that won’t help when there is cancer in the family
YarningKeeping things secret
Giving simple answers to questionsGiving lots of information and overloading kids
Letting kids yarn about difficult thingsTrying to hush it all up, avoiding sad or hard information and telling kids not to talk about it with you or anyone
Telling kids getting cancer or getting sick is not their faultTelling kids ‘be good for the grown ups’ and not to bother them
Listening to and talking with kids to hear how they are going and help them work out what they needTrying to tell kids how they should feel or what they need, and trying to fix things for them
Agreeing on what needs to happen including jobs for family, around the home, yard and communityGiving orders, expecting too much of kids and not having play or family time together
Having a routine, rules and consequencesLetting go of structure, rules and discipline 
Getting kids into sport and other community activitiesExpecting kids to be home all the time, not talk to other people about what’s going on
Accepting help from others including with the kidsThinking you can do everything on your own
Letting the school knowNot letting important people in your kids’ lives know, or telling kids to keep everything private
Letting the kids see that you might struggle sometimes but that you’ve got support Acting as if everything is okay when maybe it's not

Find out more about Talking to kids about cancer

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